我的天空我的梦 My Sky My Dream

旋律在我脑海中 不知不觉地在转动
In my distant memories
The melody keeps on replaying

我的心随着感觉走 节拍也跟着走
My heart follows what it feels
So does the music beat

回想我的小时候 钢琴声会让我感动
Looking back when I was a kid
Touched by the piano rhythm

好想靠近也很想懂 却没机会碰
Oh I wish to get close to know
Never had a chance to touch it

只能躲在角落 听别人的弹奏
Only able to hide in the corner
Listening to them play the piano

安慰自己说 我会不同
I console to myself
I will be different!

有我的天空我的梦 我的未来不是梦
There will be a sky of mine, my dream
My future is not a dream

我没有别人富有 但我能坚持到最后
I may not have what others do
But I will strive until the end

为我的天空我的梦 创出自己的天空
For my sky, for me dream
I shall colour my own sky

我一定到最后
I will until the end

每个脚步不会放松
Not relax in my journey

我会一步一步走 不会轻易的放松
I will step up in every step I take

Have I Been Too Late?

Sitting in front of the laptop
Drinking the best of soy protein isolate
Hitting my fingers on the keyboard
Thinking…

It’s that time again
The New Year seemed to have only begun yesterday
And yet it’s already the final day of the month
Really had me wondering…

Three weeks ago
I was chilling out
At the beaches of Port Dickson
With a large group of comrades
It was fun I haven’t experienced
For a long, long time
Amidst the joy and laughter
All the craziness
Recorded into a video
Recaptured the moments on Facebook
Three days ago

I begin to wonder
Where would I be
Had I not embraced this circle of friends?
Would I ever get to discover
The magical wonders of the Creator
Bestowed upon mankind
That enabled me to utilize them
To incorporate such knowledge
Into a mission
To set out to alert their unawareness
Of what they have been given by Him

Would I ever get to explore
The yet to be discovered potential in oneself
That is able to surpass its conventional form
Would I ever get to have people
Who will readily listen to you
When all others
Have almost buried their heads
Deeper and deeper into the abyss of nowhere
With hardly any time
To care to listen to people
Other than their own selves

I don’t know…

Four days ago
I drove my only sibling
To a place
For him to further shape his future
It struck me then
Although just merely an hour’s drive
From my hometown
But I am at least three hours away
The closely linked trio of the family
Are now nothing more
Than just scattered sand

Worry crept upon me
She’s almost sixty
And I’m just into my second year
Of my future-shaping exploration
Have I been too late?

The words of the Forest-Sea-Peak:
“As long as one continues
To do the correct thing
And in the right direction
There’s bound to be results”

This belief entrenched in my mind
No doubt
Please, give me the strength I want
I can’t afford to wait any longer
I want to be free
From the woes and worries
Of the mundane world
I want to go home
To where she awaits
To where my comrades await
I want to see the world
To capture and experience myself
What they did
It is not that the moon out there is rounder or brighter
It’s about LIFE!
It’s about enjoying what was bestowed upon us!
It’s about being magnificent as an Earth resident!
Not to just being a mediocre
In the confines of a small room or house

Preach me any doctrine you may
Of being able to accept what it may come
Or what we have
Such people keep saying the same words
“He is testing us
We must be patient while overcoming them”
But haven’t you seen it?
THIS IS THE TEST!
The test as to find out
Why are you so subjected to your current life?
Why are you so subjected to simply accept:
“Oh, this may come sooner or later”
You don’t do what you preach, damn it!

I was never a firm believer of a certain faith
But I go by the first principle of the Rukunegara
Every single day I continue to remain in this circle
Every moment I spent in Bugis every Wednesday
Every moment I spent in Woodlands every Friday
Every moment I spent in Genting Highlands every 3 months
Every moment I spent with my comrades in Petaling Jaya and Puchong
And every split of a second I listen to what I play
From my laptop or my phone
My beliefs in God’s existence
And his wondrous creations
Are getting more firmly rooted
Especially from the day I started to embrace the circle
HE DICTATED IT!
And I’m very glad I accepted it
Thank God...

I want to let loose
But after all those moments I spent
I knew one thing
I had to rein in
For all those which my comrades have told me
Thank you for your words
To strengthen me further
To face future challenges
Change is vital
Every small change I make
I CAN CHANGE THE WORLD!
TRUE ACHIEVEMENT, COME MY WAY!

饮恨

每每越过那狭窄海峡时，始终感到有些沉重
每每上巴士返回那岛时，都很想再回头多望一眼
但是回望了又怎样？
路是迈前走下去的，别无选择

就这样
不知不觉已被海峡把自己和家人、伙伴和朋友们隔开有一年之余了

突然很想家
不管是在河口的那个小城市
或是有红屋的那个历史城
还是夜晚永远都有活动的首都

好想再见家人、伙伴和朋友
多看一眼
多聊几句
多些欢乐时光

有点累
有点不耐烦
只有苍天听得到我的呐喊

告诉自己
要相信
一切只是暂时
我所属的地方
永远是在自己的土地上

求力量
永远赐予我
让我继续熬过这关
一定要！

WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

郑文风： “智者的选择是愚者的脚步……行业从来不分高低贵贱，但是事情有价值之分！”

Sarina Dewi Chellaiah: “Ya, saya tahu saya memang gila, tapi saya bukan bodoh!”


A lot of people may not display it outwardly in front of me, but whether they are sneering or jeering at me behind my back, I don’t know. Only He knows. Only I know what am I doing and why am I doing it. I don’t simply just thrust myself into it just because I was invited to. I myself personally have declined the inviter before. Even I was surprised myself when I made the turnabout 2 weeks later after a life-changing incident. I believe that He had decreed that I go through it to see for myself what more lies ahead in store for me.


Nazlee Abdul Aziz: “In every adversity, there lies an opportunity.”


Some envy at me for having seen through it at such a short time. For me, I am human just like anyone else. I have my own dignity to be aware of, not to allow it to be simply trampled upon. I have my own sense to what it really means to be a human, an individual. I am not about to rest my present laurels in a comfort zone. Not especially when I am the main pillar for support. Some may count themselves lucky for having elder brothers and sisters who bring home the cash, but definitely this doesn’t mean that they don’t have to worry about themselves.


“What will you do if the world collapsed on you one day? Are you prepared for it?”


No doubt, this is my primary concern ever since I entered working life. The main pillar of support must not be anyhow affected. The primary reason why I chose to do it – to strengthen the pillar itself. To seek the life I have always wanted. I am dignified like anyone else is supposed to be; I have my own right to live the life I wanted, to pursue my dreams. Once you retire and you can live the life you want? Yes, but when exactly? When I’m more than 50 years old? How long can I still live? Only He knows how long I can continue to live. But if I happen to be gone before I can really live my life, would it still be meaningful?





郑文风： “人来到这世界上总要死，但是是以什么的方式去死呢？……人死有四大结果；20%的人死得不瞑目、60%的人死得不了了之、10%的人死得心安理得、10%的人死得无怨无悔”

郑文风： “苏格拉底先生曾说过：满大街的人30岁都是死的，60岁才埋的！人过了30就再也没有了梦想，再也没有追求。”

李防之： “人生有两件事；一个是做多过享受，一个是享受多过做。”

Dr. Abdul Aziz Kechil: “What is it that you want in life?”

白君毅： “成功者是去想尽办法去增加收入，失败者则是缩小梦想去配合收入。”


The saddest reality in life, most people tend to no longer dare to dream after they pass their thirties. Why? Dreams are supposed to drive one’s direction in life. Without dreams, where are we? Where have we gone to? At crossroads without signboards? I have experienced that since about 1 year before I exited the doors of ivory tower. Where to? How to go about it? Is this really the path I’m going to take? I had no concrete answer then. It was depressing.


郑文风： “人生是计划出来的。前半段没有计划好，这一段就注定补前半段的课。你再往后面拖，再往后面推，更多难题会等着你。”

Zulkifli Malek: “Saya bukannya bekerja, tetapi saya DIKERJAKAN!”

罗芳民： “我的伙伴晓得即使他是专业人士，但和巴刹的auntie没有两样！有做就有，没做就没有。”


Is what you are doing now worth it? Is what you have now and what you have achieved worth the efforts you have put in? How much exactly is one worth? Every single one of us is irreplaceable, every single one of us is unique in his or her own way. For centuries, 80% of the people have subjected themselves to a fate of being undervalued.


Amy Chew: “成功速度等于改变速度”

黄桂珠： “一个人的成功在于改变，一个人的失败在于等待”

黄静陶： “改变很痛苦，但不改变更痛苦！”

郑文风： “成功只有一个理由，不成功可以有一千万个理由。人生只有三天；昨天、今天和明天。昨天已经过去，明天还没到来，但是今天一定要想好才过。有三件事不能等；孝顺不能等、孩子的教育不能等、自己的成功不能等。”

Liew Rik Foong: “Who we are today are the results of the decisions we made yesterday. Who we are tomorrow are the decisions we have made today.”

佛陀： “我们现在的一切都是过去思想的结果”

Ng Pik Lai: “Success belongs to those who believe.”

Saleha: “Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.”

Richard DeVos: “You’ll never know what you might accomplish until you try. That truth is so simple that some people completely overlook it.”


That’s right. We decide. Succeed or not? Success is meant for everyone, but have we seized the right opportunity to achieve it? There are many opportunities out there, but which is worth it? Which has the clearest results and the least uncertainties? Why opt for a path that will cause you to forsake your freedom, the most personal thing to every one of us, in the long term?


郑文风： “很多人都怕老，是因为怕老了没故事。还记得你爷爷的爷爷的名字吗？如果不记得，就证明我们这几代没有好好努力过。一代又一代不努力，就这样草根。如果我们这一代不做出改变，我们为什么还给下一代生人手？”

理查•狄维士： “辉煌的传统可以继承，但辉煌的成就要靠自己创造。”


Has it not come across to your mind that you wanted a life full of glamour, a life that will continue to allow you to remain a legacy to your descendants, a life full of stories and valuable lessons for them to learn and look upon?

A lot of people have come and go. Those who have continued to stay know one thing, what they are doing is worth the effort they have put in, including those who have passed their 60s, 70s and 80s. They still have dreams, they still have life goals to pursue, they realize they still have much more to achieve in life than just idling their lives away.





林海峰： “（很多人）已经不知道自己有多么了不起，已经不知道在未来可以有多大的成就……”

郑文风： “人生最凄惨的是一觉睡到天亮，两眼望着天花板，真的不知道该干点什么！”


Those who have left failed to see the bigger picture. They have forgotten what they have came for. Ask yourself: Which flight of steps towards success does not have its obstacles? There’s no free meal in this world. Other paths equally have their obstacles, but are the destinations clear enough? I had my challenges, just like anyone else, just like anyone up at the top who have tirelessly continued to encourage for people like me to not give up ascending the hike. Every obstacle must be overcome, they have done it before and everyone else needs to go through the same way. I dared not to be among those who have left and gave up, for I know only one thing: If I gave up, I will return back to the days where I got lost, where I would have been among the 60% to spend away my time doing something that may not guarantee me a secure future, where I would have lost the ability to dream. I would be nothing short of a sorrowful individual to continue to be among the 80% to slog out my entire life for the richer 20%. My life would have been short of being meaningful and full of colours.


傅后坚： “我不管你的条件，我不管你的能力，我也不管你多厉害，假设你不相信，你是不可能成功的。”

P.W. Chew: “你这一生有没有赢过？不要输得很惨！”

李防之： “当你有梦想的时候，你永远看不到挑战！我相信总有一天，你也会跟我一样，从没有做到什么都有！”

郑文风：“那些只会和你一起吃，一起玩，不叫做朋友，而是生活上的玩伴。真正的朋友是和你一起共商未来……享受人生不是坐在豪宅里孤独喝一杯酒，享受人生是可以有良师益友。”


I have found more than what’s worth coming into this circle. A circle which I have always wished for, the spirit of comradeship continues to lie within, to continue to encourage every single individual to spur on, to unleash the potential within, to continue to inculcate the spirit that says: YOU CAN DO IT! No one shall dissuade me from doing what’s worth, I have gotten tired and do not wish to get tired any further from the harshest realities of the environment of the 80%, but I, like everyone else in this circle, will continue to invite everyone we cared for to join us together on the cruise, to continue to seek for the most beautiful things we have dreamt for. Every single individual is by his or her own, independent, special, unique and wholly respected in this circle. No one is above or below the other. The camaraderie that we shared shall continue to remain part of a life laden with colours and legacies……

Self-Rejection

This is not something I would usually want to talk about. But something happened that had made me to unwittingly cast myself into this pit. Something that may be considered as a large slap in the face, but actually, it’s just part and parcel of one’s own development, as long as it doesn’t involve the life and dignity of someone else. My reason being if I can’t actually do this simple little thing properly, how am I supposed to do it big?

Success is not measured by how much one has attained or gained, but more of how many people one can help to do the same thing. I have no qualms in actually ringing up my mentor of 9 months, whom I have placed full trust since Day 1, some 400 kilometers away from where he is. I told him I wanted to do it all over again, at the very least set that little thing right before moving on to something big.

Looking back at my cell phone call register, I realize we have talked for about 45 minutes. Well, I guess that’s a true friend for you, who’s willing to help you to analyze things with a cool mind, going into details and telling you how you should deal with it rather than cast oneself into self-rejection. One thing that didn’t cross my mind then was “If I had actually rejected myself, wouldn’t I have rejected how my other faithful friends and partners looked at me so favorably?” They did not give up on me, but giving up on oneself could be very much the scariest thing ever.

Despite my achievement being yet anywhere close to that of my mentors’ as I was only a greenhorn of less than a year, but I was recognized as a leader for my abilities and camaraderie, not by comparison of my level of achievement with theirs, because human dignity is placed above anything else in this circle. As I was writing this, I recalled how Madam Zheng Wenfeng said, “Careers have never been classified as that of high or low standard, but definitely all matters can be differentiated by the values they represent.” The values emphasized within this circle itself are the ones that have constantly attracted me to continue to remain in it because it is where I seek solace and it is where I seek answers to my questions.

“Are you telling me that you are denying what you have done and contributed in the past?” Committing mistakes is part and parcel of life, of growth and self-development and progressive learning, as long as it didn’t involve taking someone else’s life. I have somewhat exploded the whole matter into a big issue, when it was actually just a small one to get over with. Like how Mr. Lee Yin Chuan described, “When one tends to enlarge problems, dreams will distance themselves.” Recalling how the older mentor of my mentor actually dissuaded him from shutting up himself due to a loss, I was told to “come back”…

Tears To An Event of Nearly 1 Year Ago...

When was the last time you seen this scene? Of people who mostly do not used to know each other at all, came to know each other under a wonderful oppotunity, congregating at this place, linking and waving hands, singing one song in unison, full of emotion and energy. Even the people who do not know the language of the song are influenced to tune into the same motion.



The song goes like this:

这些年 一个人 风也过 雨也走
All these years, being alone, braved through winds and rain
有过泪 有过错 还记得坚持甚麽
Tears have flowed, made mistakes, still remembered what I persisted for

真爱过 才会懂 会寂寞 会回首
Truly loved and understood, felt alone, looking back
终有梦 终有你 在心中
Realized finally, I have dreams and you in my heart

朋友一生一起走 那些日子不再有
Friends walk together throughout life, those days will never be again
一句话 一辈子 一生情 一杯酒
One sentence, forever, cheers to our relationship
朋友不曾孤单过 一声朋友 你会懂
Friends will never be alone, by the word 'friend' you will comprehend
还有伤 还有痛 还要走 还有我
Sorrow and pain endured together, I walk together by your side


* These snapshots were captured from the recording of the event that took place at Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil in June 2008. I was not present at that time.

The Day It Shall Come

看看以上这图片。想象如果图片当中是自己和志同道合的朋友在同时成功一起拥抱庆祝成功的喜悦……

Take a look at the picture above. Picture yourself and your comrades of the same goal as these two people in the picture embrace each other in tears of joy celebrating the success attained…

Lihatlah gambar di atas. Gambarkan anda dan juga rakan seperjuangan anda seperti dua orang dalam gambar ini berpeluk sesama diri meraikan kejayaan yang dicapai…

我的一位仁兄……

我不否认我的为人会有点冲动，甚至没有通过大脑深思熟虑而钻牛角尖，带来不必要的麻烦。结果，就麻烦了一位仁兄。

这位仁兄今年年仅28岁，至于他相识大概4个月。虽然隔开大约400公里，但他也给我不少指点，人也很亲切。我似乎有了个哥哥。嘴上虽说要求帮忙，但是其实换个角度来看是他替我做事。我觉得不好受。我不可以这样，怎么可以叫人替我做事呢？怎么可以叫别人替我做一件事，到最后成就由我来领取？感觉上很自私。自己的东西得自己去处理，但是我却因为匆忙向达到目标而去麻烦别人了。

不管，我今天得写个电邮给他向他道歉。我不再做这种事情了。我给该电邮写了这最后一句：“我们依然还是朋友吗？”

过了大约1小时，他回复了。吓！他竟然没谴责我。这到底是怎么一回事呢？

“我俩都是往同一个方向行走，为同样长远的目标奋斗。我帮你，并没有对我任何损失。只要帮到你成功，也是我的个人成就，因为我帮你达到顶峰。别忘了，你在整个过程中也有付出努力。成就仍属于我俩，无分谁或谁应领取该成绩。请勿因为这一点小事而感到错愕，也别想太多了。别再有这种消极的想法了，因为消极的想法并无助于达到成功顶峰的努力……”

康闻兄，谢谢你……

------------------------------------------------------------------

I do not deny the fact that I'm a bit impulsive, to the extent of getting myself into unnecessary problems without thinking in-depth. In the end, I caused a problem to a 'brother' of mine.

He's only 28, and we only known each other for about 4 months. Despite being away from each other of about 400 km, he still gave me a lot of tips and guidance in the spirit of friendship. It felt like I had an elder brother. Though it may sound like asking help from him, but in a way, it can be seen as asking him to do it for me. I felt very uncomfortable after that. How can I be actually so selfish to ask someone to do something for me, only for me to reap its produce in the end? I felt really disgusted at myself. I should have handled it myself, but because of my anxiety to reach my goal, I have 'dragged' him down.

I couldn't care less any more, I must write him an e-mail to seek for his apology. I will not do this again. I ended the e-mail with the sentence, "Are we still friends?"

After about an hour, he replied. His reply surprised me in a way that he actually didn't reprimand me. Just what is going on?

"We are both walking in the same direction, fighting for the same goal. The fact that I help you doesn't make me lose anything. As long as I help you to succeed, it is also an achievement of mine. It's a win-win situation. Do not forget that you also played a crucial role in the process. Success belongs to everyone of us, there's no distinguishing between who does it belong to. Please do not feel guilty over this small matter and don't think too much. Do not have any negative thoughts anymore, as they hamper your efforts to the top......"

Thank you, 'Brother' Owen ......

乙

按一按手机，按久了便可知道手机的什么功能位置在哪儿。
回想5年8、9个月前，我就是利用这个本能来驱走甲。
或许甲是个机会，但是被呈现得不够明确，根本提不起兴趣听下去或看下去。
这么多数字，这么多图案，越听就越想睡觉。
既使说明甲的那位好心人士讲得有多么的滚瓜烂熟似的，但是就是进左耳，出右耳。

甲和乙本属同一组，但那一次的经历就让我对这一组产生了一种负面的印象。
或许你可以说我对人不对事，但当时我只有区区18岁，还未真正出道社会，根本还存有那天真、未完全成熟的思想。

古人云：“经一事，长一智”
自从那一次经历之后，我大概可以知道他们这一班人大概会在什么时候出现。
隔一年上了大学一年级，我看准时间完完全全的避开、闪躲他们，根本不想和他们扯上任何的关系，因为我就是那么的固执，不曾尝试打开心房去更深入的了解。
就这样完全把精神埋进书堆与各种娱乐当中度过四年的大学生涯。

回想大学四年级时，已经醒觉就快要毕业了。
虽然我时常被视为好学的那种，但其实不是。
我也渴望能够不顾虑太多事务（包括学业在内），轻轻松松自由的过一生。
读了超过15年的书，我根本没有那种精力想要再去升学、进修。
但我本身就是对毫无兴趣的事情不会去付出太大的努力，但又再想，实在是没有那种求学的心态了。
没办法，世界就是那么的残忍。
只好毕业出来之后，四处奔波求工作，也甚至飞越了南中国海。

本来念大学的时候，就觉得有点不太对了。
虽然知道所修读的领域非常吃香，能够带来相当大的收入，但其实对这领域并不是有非常浓厚的兴趣。
但是最有兴趣的也未必带来理想的收入。
加上又是家里的长子，肩背着为家庭带来吃饭钱的责任，不得不得继续读下去。
大一变大二，大二变大三，大三变大四。仍然还是觉得前景还是那么的迷迷糊糊。
口头上可以讲到尽善尽美，但心里非常清楚已经背叛了自己的心愿。
很厌恨自己得表现那么的虚假，也痛恨这世界得必须以那么现实、虚假的姿态去生存。
非常不甘愿……

3个月之内到处跑去应征，都不成功。
唯独来到了这小小的岛屿面试工作，十二小时之内获得被录取的通知。
当然，心里觉得高兴，因为家里的负担必须由我扛起，每次面试不成功都会觉得压力，而且储蓄也越来越少。
再加上，许多同学都已经找到了工作，唯独剩我还未被任何公司机构录取，有点没面子。
虽然有些同学都非常好心的劝我放轻松、慢慢来、耐心等待，总会找到自己想要的工作，但是若日子久了，还未找到工作，都不知道他们会怎么想。
找到了就业机会总算可以暂时安定下心来。

如我所说的，是‘暂时’。接下来可要为钱烦。
许多人都以为在这岛屿上赚的钱比他们来得多，但事实上不如此。
我也不需要讲得太多，因为也许他们不在这地方工作，体会不到、不了解。
有几个和我同一艘船都感同身受。
每个月仅存那么一小笔钱，都不知道能撑到什么时候。
每个人工作忙，以往的倾诉对象也为自己的生活、前途而打拼，根本没有空余的时间来交谈。
这样忙下去，能够忙多久？
前途原本都那么模糊了，每个人都在忙，久而久之，恐怕就会慢慢疏远了，甚至当年的交情也给忘了。
到时候生活哪还有什么意义呢？

我属牛，星座为天蝎座。
据一般的生肖和星座的性质形容，我非常讲义气及注重友谊。
这倒是非常准确的。
在这么多同学当中，绝大部分都落于半岛南端，但那些比较要好的，除了一个在南端以及一个在南中国海对面，其他的都在首都。
即使要从这岛屿到首都去探望他们也许要搭车4至5小时的路程，非常耗时，不请假就得很赶时间回去。
因此，当听说其中一位好友S在4个月前要到半岛南端时（距离生日一个星期之前），我就趁这机会到彼岸去探访他。

“机不可失”这句话说得一点都没错。
我趁机去找他聊，而他趁机向我介绍了乙。
但基于我对该组还存有负面的概念，我坚决地否决他向我解释乙的详细背景。
S要求我既使拒绝，总该可以支持他与乙‘交往’。
看在要好的朋友的面上，我算是敷衍了他，并祝福他‘交往’成功。

有时候某一个人可能会好心地介绍一样好事情，但如果连解释的机会都完全被否决，想必一定会很失望。
那一天，我还真得够‘狠心’，竟然邀他一起去唱K！
（其实，去找他的念头本来就是想找他玩。要不然，要在遇到他的机会可能更少了。）

事过了两个星期，我做了一个可能令人跌破眼镜的决定。
我有一位也同样在这小岛屿工作的老同学，K。
有一天，他约了我在该星期的周末去听听有关经济的讲座叫《企业梦想》，说另一个同学，C也会从半岛来到这儿。
刚好那一个星期闲着没其他东西做，呆在房子里，除了上网、看电视以外，也会特别的闷，所以去就去咯。反正，也和能多久没见的同学见面。

该讲座举行的场面不算太大也不算太小，但可见得很多相当积极的人士在那里准备就绪。
这时，又突然间看到了另一位同学，W。
以前的W可说是在学校里态度相当鲁莽的一个人。
但今天竟然看到他系着领带，穿西装。
想想看，该不会是什么帮派把？怎么会有这么多人穿成这样？（没有啦，开玩笑的啦）
不过，能看到W的改变也固然感到欣慰。至少样子是有点正经派。:-P

演讲嘉宾有三个。
其中一个演讲就谈到了该时候的全球经济危机以及应付个人财务方法之一。
它的内容顿时让我深深感触到可能面临的危机，尤其是完全盲目跟着社会主流走而缺乏对未来方向感的我。
虽然危机现在不会很明显地出现在我眼前，但要是真的有那么一天，恐怕就不知道那时候要怎么应付了。
而且，即使能够安然无恙度过这危机，但人生也许会渐渐的变成没有意思。
本来人格向往寻求无限的自由，却得被现实工作世界的枷锁限制自由。
非常感同身受并同意该讲座的内容，这样长久下去，恐怕欲享福的日子也会越来越短。
我不甘愿这样。我要自由。我要尊严的肯定。
生活由我主宰、命运由我决定（当然，老天爷也有他自己的安排）、快乐与梦想由我追求，人生满足更是由我去实现。

该讲座大力的推荐乙这个角色。
只要每个人用心去与乙‘交往’，人生满足可以完全比普通打工人士在更短的时间内达到。
我要的就是这个！（但是为了不要太过表现已经中了K的‘计’，我仍保持进场前的表情。当时脸皮始终那么厚，打死都不承认说：“我认同”。嘻嘻……）

最后一个演讲嘉宾更是令我感动。她是一位来自犀鸟州的老修女。
别看她样子那么老，甚至是有点驼背，但是她演讲的气势非常的棒，情绪一样高昂。
为了让中国的穷小孩，尤其是被遗弃的小女孩子，活下去，她看到乙有能力帮她实现她要帮助这些小孩的心愿。
看起来似乎违背一般修女对基督教的始终如一的形象，但是也是凭着良心，依宗教教导信徒们要拥有大爱的原则，透过乙这个角色协助这些小孩的成长。
（老天爷，请永远保佑这善心人士）

乙这个角色果然来头不小，能够使不同背景的人士去接触他。
隔两天，我寄了电邮给远在首都的S，‘低声下气’地向他询问如何与乙‘交往’。
我可不是对一般人做出这种承认，不过他可是我众多认识的人之中最信任的其中一个。
要不是他（以及其他的一班同僚们），我也许可能堕落下去。
我这么一开口问，S当然是高兴起来。

同样与S并进的还有他的哥哥，H与Y，以及一位叫O的同僚。
各个都远在首都。而我人在这小岛上。
想要直接取经如何在深入地与乙‘交流’可说是不简单。
跟O通过电邮联系一两个星期，万万没想到他与H特地请了两天假到小岛来给我指点！
感动死了！T_T

我不知道要该怎么说才好。
也只能说感谢S‘强迫’地把我引进圈子里。
感谢K、C与W让我看到了其扮演角色的重要性。
也非常感激H、Y与O不厌倦地给我协助及指点。
这一路上有你们陪伴，我一定尽努力追随成功的道路……

The SKK Chinese's version of Suba-Rao's birthday 'raining eggs'

19 JANUARY 2009

Today is Suba-Rao’s birthday. His Facebook was written as “K. Suba Rao says thank you to all his friends for the bday wishes. Sad to know teen age fading away. The best part is, no more 'raining eggs' : ) ”

The mention of ‘raining eggs’ made my mind rush back to the craze we had during campus days. Certainly, even the most serious-looking people may do the craziest things at least once in their lifetime. That was in November 2006, when (if I remembered correctly) all our final exams had just ended, and we were only a few days left to going back home. That was our first semester of our Third Year in university when Kian Tong and Hong Yii were roommates for the first time, residing in Room 213, Block MA4 of the 11th Residential College. Suba-Rao was just next door to him.

Apparently, Suba-Rao and his circle of Indian friends were celebrating the birthday of one of their friends and it certainly ended in the craziest manner. Like Suba-Rao mentioned, ‘raining eggs’. Those guys actually bought a few packets of flour, mixed with a few eggs and water and splashed the goo on each other literally. Outside the block of course, at the road outside or the lawn in the middle of the four surrounding male residential blocks, i.e. MA4, MA5, MA6 and MA7.

That incidence somehow gave a particular someone among us (I don’t know who) some sort of inspiration, but not total plagiarism-lah. (Haha….) Meng Lee had a small electric stove and suggested we cook up something to celebrate our ending of finals (Yeap, sounds like kinda lame, considering we have finals every semester, but it’s just another way of entertaining ourselves. LOL~!). And the easiest way would be none other than a round of steamboat. So all sorts of ingredients were bought, veggie, eggs, vermicelli, crab sticks, fish balls, meat balls and assorted ‘yong tau foo’.

We gathered in MA4-213, considering among us the guys of SKK, those who reside in College 11 had the largest rooms, albeit Meng Lee and I also live there, but MA4-213 was the one that had the easiest access from road-level. And so newspapers were laid on the floor and water was set to boil in the pot on top of the stove, with curtains partly drawn (for we certainly do not want to be seen using a banned electrical appliance! Haha…). All the ingredients were simply prepared at the washing sink in the nearby toilet (Yeah, toilet. But K11’s toilets are generally big and clean, haha), dumped into the pot and picked up with our chopsticks onto our polystyrene plates to go along with chilli sauce. Though not so good at cooking, but it was one way of enjoying ourselves. So there we were, me, Ah Lek, Hong Yii, Kian Tong, Yuen Chin, Tian Fwu, Meng Lee, Jeng Shiun (were Louis, Sze Seng and Soon Seng there? Don’t remember… but all the key people were there anyway. :-P).

As steamboat is called by its name, all the ingredients when eaten certainly made us sweat, prompting a few people to take off their T-shirts. Kian Tong played an episode of the Taiwanese programme Jacky Go! Go! Go! on his desktop that got us laughing while munching on the food. As Kian Tong/Hong Yii’s room window faced the road, it was not too difficult for people to peek in from outside, including girls. Sheue Huey caught us in the ‘red’ when she came to look for Hong Yii to pick up something (was Siew Ling or Joyce with her at that time?).

“Wah! So many stuff. Looks delicious wor!”

“You want? Come in lah!”

“Siau ah! How to go in?!”

Putting that aside, all of us then laid on our backs against the wall, chair, bedpost or whatever stuff in the room we could lay on having had our fill. Some of the guys took out the utensils to wash them and when everything was almost done, Meng Lee and Kian Tong brought in a surprise. A birthday cake! Apparently, Tian Fwu’s 22nd birthday (November 30) was just like about one or two weeks away. But since all of us would be home by then, it was decided to pre-celebrate it (common practice anyway. Haha….).

Bite by bite, the cake was finished. And when all the washing was almost done, the ‘nightmare’ began

Someone had sneaked behind Tian Fwu with a pail of water to give him a ‘birthday splash’. Everyone dashed back into Kian Tong’s room and shut the door

“What the heck?!”

Everybody get out! Nobody’s to stay in the room and isolate himself from the fun!”

So out we were, armed with pails, while each other dashed into different directions whenever at least one of us came charging with a bucket. It didn’t even matter we were half-naked, but the thrill did send some of us running into the motorcycle parking lot outside the college, where everyone passing by, including the people at Angkasa Arcade just right opposite to Block MA4 could see. But it was dark in the night and probably no one could have noticed. As long as the College Principal, a no-nonsense, sometimes unreasonable, PALAPES officer, doesn’t come running to us. Alliances were formed to ‘attack’ a certain person, but no sooner that alliance turned into a ‘betrayal’ when one of the allies was splashed instead.

I was filling up a small pail in the sit-toilet when they came cornering me. Immediately, I picked up the hose and using my thumb to send a high-speed squirt at them. But in the end, I still get drenched. Haha….

At one point, we chased Tian Fwu down to the lawn surrounded by the 4 blocks. At another, some of them chased Kian Tong up to Level 3. Yes, we certainly were crazy, with all the laughs and screams shouting “Don’t let him get away!”. Even Suba-Rao took care not to get splashed by us whenever he stepped out of his room to go to the toilet. Despite all the noise, fortunately, no one lodged a complaint (to be fair, we are not the noisiest. The worst noise I ever heard in UTM was all the howls and curses that came ringing in the dark whenever there’s an electrical blackout during nighttime. But the only one who might complain will be the contracted cleaner next morning (hahaha….) for no sooner the entire corridor of the Right Wing of Level 2 of MA4 was totally wet and the Left Wing also suffered a certain degree of wetness. We laughed until our guts ached.

But that was certainly not over. When the rest of the guys went down back to Block M10 of Tun Dr Ismail Residential College (KTDI), some of them still have not given up the fun yet…… Hohoho!!!

(Due to a high degree of inconvenience, no photos of the 'craze' were taken) :-P

That was in November 2006. Sigh~

電單車引起的回憶

2009年1月17日（星期六）


我仿佛沉入在一片建筑森林之中。来自一个拥有现代及传统环境邻近国家的我，对这岛屿上这几乎都是现代化的环境还真的不适应，更是厌倦。所以，当我每次沿过那条衔接两岸一公里的桥回到我的祖国时，我的心情似乎感到特别的快乐。就因为这样，我决定每个月至少都得这么做一次。

今天，我就特地过桥到彼岸并搭了半个钟头的车程来到了我过去5年的岁月经常流荡的地区。我把所带着春意的粉红信封放入信箱并买了一件准备过节的长裤之后，就踏出了购物中心的大门。走着走着，便看到大门前的那条路。望过去左边时，并看到了购物中心的有盖电单车停车处。这时，我的脑海便挖掘出当时经常冒着日晒雨淋骑着电单车到处溜的回忆。还记得曾经有一次，大伙儿们冒着小雨骑着电单车道购物中心请当时的寿星公吃肯德基炸香鸡，要到目的地的时候突然下大雨。回想当时有时经常做出一些被认为疯癫的行为时，就不禁脸上露出一个微笑。 当我走上阶梯往购物中心外头的巴士站时，我回头再一次望着那条路。拥有一定的画面想象力的我，眼中似乎出现了当时他们骑着电单车的影子。穿着曼联球衣和军式短裤的A骑着JGE3061的蓝色的国产Kriss，后边载着穿着青苹果颜色工大砂联T恤的Y，穿着浅蓝T恤的P骑着红色的BFH3316，穿着黄与白T恤的T骑着绿色的ADW5726丰田，L骑着他那有点杂音以及速度表镜片已破的红色电单车，后边载着瘦巴巴的S，以及戴着现在已被禁用的‘椰壳’安全帽的M骑着他红色的国产Kriss。

一共七个人。就是这象牙塔日子时经常接触的七个人。最后一次大伙儿见面时是当时穿着深红色的衣袍，里头穿着闷热的西装，脖子似乎要被领带掐及头上戴着四方帽的五个月前。心里突然有所感触，有点伤心。大伙儿们各个都在数公里的距离分开，最远的在从新山起需要四至五小时的长途巴士车程的地方。顿时便回忆起当时我们一共八个人都聚集在T与Y宿舍房间的那一个晚上。当时是2007年8月，隔天就要考企业科。大家本来应该在那是后投下功夫做最后一分钟的复习，但却为了我而聚集在那房间里。这一个举动感动了我便让我领悟到我在度过那象牙塔校园的日子并不孤单。

我以前把A当作是我在课程首三年的最亲的朋友。其中原因归于我们俩都来自同一个县，同样是年底出世，也同样是潮州人。记得他曾经说过：“潮州人是最讲义气的。”身为室友、同学、同乡、同籍贯的我，对他忠心不已。上课时坐在一起，一起复习功课，也一起出外用餐。在某一个时期出外时，我们俩轮流载着对方省车油钱。但有时，那没有准确定义的忠心更是能够使某一个人做出一些夸张即过火的举动，甚至于把对方的忍耐度推到极限。曾经多时差一点弄他生气，但无论如何，他总是那么的愿意原谅对方。（老天爷，请您永远保佑他）

就因为这样则引起其他六个人的注意。他们其实有意识到我和A之间的感情有点不对劲的地方。我本来以前和这六个人不是有到很要好程度的关系，并且经常误会他们的所作所为，印象中好像我不是他们圈子里的一部份或者是我对他们来说似乎毫无存在。但就在那天晚上，我被骗走近T与Y的房间里，而他们七个人都在场。电灯马上被熄灭，窗帘被拉上，奏起了一首感触心理的音乐。我不记得当时是谁先开口，但我想应该是S吧。他的语气是在尝试着劝说我，L也用同样的语气。S坦白地说也许他们之中可能对我做错了什么或者是误会了什么或者是我有什么不满，而大伙儿们聚集在那房间的主要目的就是各个互相坦白说出有对任何人的什么不满情绪。身为不是随便在众多人面前发泄而只对像A我非常信任的人诉苦的我，一开始不是很愿意开口。M的语气有点快要粗骂人的感觉，但马上被性格温和的P给解淡了。T和Y也似乎非常了解我的本人，并劝说我有什么不满就说吧。就在这时候，其中一个人就说：“我们身为你的coursemate，你的朋友，非常关心你。你如果有什么不高兴，大家都感受到。要不然，我们也不会在明天要考Keusahawanan时，还在这里为你而聚集。”

听到这一句话，心被感动了。这一生中，除了母亲之外，从来没有那些我称为朋友的人当着面对我有如此的关心。这时，我也开口了，把一切都说出来，大家也同样如此。没有人反驳任何一个人。这时，我的四周感受到一股温情。心中的误会全部被消失了，似乎帮了死结也被解开了。我开始用另一个角度看待那六个人；他们不只是我的同学，更是用两个字来形容：“同志”。双眼开始流了感动的眼泪，A与Y不断的安慰我。他们正要离开房间时，我在哭声中向他们衷情的道谢。我步出房间时，A忙着把握引到某一个角落，并急忙地告诉我聚集的事不是他的主意，而他也根本就对这件事情一无所知。我对他持着义气的名分上对他说：“我相信你。”自从那一刻起，我在他们以及其他同学的陪同下，更是有了较辽阔的安慰感，变成一个完全不一样的人。如果不是因为这件被‘蹂躏’的事，我真的不敢想象在那时候之后的一年毕业时还会是一个怎样的人。

上个周末，好不容易有了较空的时间的A，与我想见。即使有了伴侣，他还是保持着他的老样子。他也曾经答应过，不会像那些交了伴侣而重色轻友的人，并且继续与他之前所交过的朋友保持联络。见面时，他的伴侣也在场。然而，我们互相对谈时都感觉轻松。虽然有时候感觉好像在当‘电灯泡’，不过也很欣慰他还是他本人。

亚立，我的前室友、同学、同乡、同籍贯，谢谢你。
思诚，脾气永远是那么温和的你，谢谢你。
建中，初见以为你经常睡眠不足但其实是眼周生成较暗淡的，谢谢你。
鸿仪，经常在课堂上打瞌睡的咪咪眼，谢谢你。
添福，人格有时郎当，经常与亚立在各个所仰慕的足球队交战时而互相‘格斗’，谢谢你。
明利，嘴上口头禅：“你会毛！”的你，谢谢你。
征勋，经常在大家要渡大学放长假时而牺牲家门前让我们的电单车停放，谢谢你。

他们的名字以及轮廓永远铭记在心中……